I Do This For You

I love the way you laugh with me
I love that you’re so near to me
But I wonder
I wonder if I’m really what you see in me
Cause my heart keeps changing
My worry slows
Then starts its raging
Will you runaway?
Will you love me enough to stay?
Love me enough to pray
Love me enough to say
“You’re going to be ok.”?
Do you love me enough?
Now that I’ve told you
Do you still think I’m so tough?
Do you see that my heart is throbbing?
Do you listen for my sobbing?
I kept me hidden for a reason
Kept me hidden because I was scared
Kept me hidden because you’ll define me by a season
Define me by my aching darkness
I’m willing to confess
I really made a mess
I haven’t made much progress
But I AM moving forward
And I HAVE been restored
But WHY don’t you see
The grace that set me free
Why do you get stuck on my failure?
Do you hate me?
For the things I’ve done?
For the times I told no one?
For the times that I run?
For the moments when I come undone?
I know I hurt you…
I know that’s true
And now I’m scared after all I put you through
You’ll walk away from me too
I try to hide everything
I fake my laughter, I learn to sing
I try to hide the sting
I love you
I hope you love me too
I’ll always be here for you
I think saying so is long overdue
I hid things for your own sake
Please, don’t be burdened by my mistakes
I will fake happiness if I have too
You’re worth everything you put me through
Just know I’m quiet for you
I don’t talk about this for you
I hide because I need you
Because I love you…