First Love

You know that feeling when nothing is wrong? When everything just goes right, but you feel too lucky, like it could all come crashing down on you? Well thats how I felt when I met him. His name is Jamie. he drives a little too fast and plays the guitar a little too loud. A real cross between a modern bad boy and a britsh hottie. his grades weren’t perfect like mine were, but he tried. I wore pink; his staple was black. He was the guy-version of the complete oppisit of me. But I didn’t care.

I feel for him, and fell hard. He told me he loved me, and I belived him with every cell in my body, and it was the same for me, I was in lovewith him. Somewhere between the blinding perfection of young love, there was something wrong. My parents didn’t approve of him of course, convienced he was only after one thing, though that wasn’t true. My favorite place in the world was soon in his arms in the bed of his truck, where we had only ever made out; he didn’t push me into something I would regret.

He understood me, my thoughts, my need for freedom, how much I loved him. I understood his feelings, his songs, and how much he really wanted me. The first time he told me he loved me, I wanted to give in and give myself to him, but I couldn’t. he said it was okay, that he didn’t want to, not yet. He held and kissed me, and whispered ‘I love you’. I’ll never forget how seet it felt to say it back.

When my mother died, I ran to Jamie for comfort. He held me and let me fall apart, and when my tears were dry, he helped me put myself back together. between my tears, there was his silent cries for my pain to end. That night, I really wanted to give in, to let rebellion be my anchor, to rerally love him. He said no, that it wouldn’t heal the pain. When the pain did finally end, a year of us being together was up, then I did give in.

Dad now accepted him, he didn’t really have another choice. I spent almost every day with Jamie, and our love only deepened. When school eneded and life begun, was when my life took a sharp turn. He was going to collage in Vermont for engineering, and I was headed to California for Marine Bio. We had only a few weeks before we headed off to our different sides of the nation. He called me everyday, and we spent major holidays together, but soon life was too much.

We let each other go. I cried, but he didn’t hold me this time. we had both agreed it was for the best, but I wasn’t ready to deal with the pain of losing him. He called me less, and soon we lost touch all together. When college was over, I didn’t look for him. By now, I belived in fate, and if I was still meant for him, then we would find each other again.

Years passed, in which I had dated many guys, nothing ever coming close to my first love. A few days after my 26th birthday, I got a wedding invination from Jamie’s father, who was re-marring only a few months after devoircing Jamie’s mother. I took it as a sign and flew out at once.

Through most of the wedding I sat in a daze. I mingled with the happy couple and many other guests, but not a word about Jamie came up. By the end of the night, I got asked to dance. It was the last song, and I said yes, convinced that he wasn’t there. He said that I looked beautiful and asked for my number. we smiled and flirted through the whole song, then I finally asked for his name.

“Jamie.” He said simply.