It doesn’t matter what you say,
It doesn’t matter what you do,
Nothing’s as important
As strike one or strike two.
You’ve given up
On all you do
Because they’ve turned you
Black and blue.
Your smile is rare,
Your laugh is gone,
Your heart is broken,
You’re all alone.
You’ve given up
On all you do
Because they’ve turned you
Black and blue.
I really liked this. It was simple, but heartfelt. I found the middle slightly hard to read, but overall I really like the way you got the message across.
I think this piece is good – but not captivating enough. I lost interest in the middle part, but I love the concept. Creative. Just a little bit of tweaking and it’ll be awesome :)
i think its good.. can really relate to it :) good job