I was washed out on the shore

In a dress embroidered by a sea foam

I was a newborn pushed out

Of an old womb, knowing

Nothing about the world beyond

Morphine, novocaine
Anything to ease the pain
This suffering is all too real
Compared to what I used to feel
Yellow teeth and holes in jaws
Along with many other flaws
Are surely what’s to follow next
In this horrid tangled mess
Of long addictions never overcome
Soon I’ll wake to the ventilator’s hum

its not like i didn’t try…I really did, There is only so much i can give people and to be honest i gave you more than your fair share…but you took that for granted, I just can’t give you anymore chances, I can only forgive you and move on, Knowing i forgave it all just isn’t good enough but then again, neither was what we went through.

Moon

The biggest treat for me

When I was so much younger,

Was to lie in the moonbeam

That oozed through my bedroom window

And bounced and rested on my bed for the night.

Lying in that moonbeam felt secure…warm…

Birthday cake and baseball glove comfort

I reveled in this warmth.

Moonbeams today

Are cold…

I hear voices, they reach for me, they are calling me,

and yet as soon as I turn to them, they’re gone…

The sun is so bright it hurts my eyes,

the moon is so pale it gives me chills.

There’s a layer of leaves beneath me,

a dark meadow lies ahead.

The sky is pitch black,

a shadow walks by my side

And I can hear them again,

whispering, singing, calling me…

The shadow slowly moves forward,

I.

Misted trees, you stand tall,

Never will your regal trunks fade or fall

Stand in one place for a lifetime

Watch the ever-changing seasons pass

Let your leaves fall to the ground

with only the faintest whisper of a sound.

II.

The floor, speckled with spots of light

I love the way you laugh with me
I love that you’re so near to me
But I wonder
I wonder if I’m really what you see in me
Cause my heart keeps changing
My worry slows
Then starts its raging
Will you runaway?
Will you love me enough to stay?
Love me enough to pray
Love me enough to say
“You’re going to be ok.”?
Do you love me enough?
Now that I’ve told you
Do you still think I’m so tough?
Do you see that my heart is throbbing?

Bumping, grinding, rolling, riding
Constant, eager, hot and wet
Lips touching, tongues probing
Bodies searching, drenched in sweat

Begging, panting, hard and fast
Breathless, eager, make it last
Shiny, slick, oiled and creamed
A desperate cry to be reamed

Spinning, spiraling, flying high
Hips feverishly rise than fall
Thick member pumping hard
Amidst muffled screams and all

Blood racing with every thrust
Pleasure bursting from the seams
Teasing, tempting, don’t break the trust
The release so close it seems

The winds in my hair, the water running down my chin, I feel as though the world is slipping away into oblivion. So today I begin a new day. A new way into the darkness that has over-welmed me today, and tomorrow, and yesterday, and the day before. It shakes me to my very core. My being, my soul, is being deeply torn from everything loved and lost. From things wanted and things burst, to things laughed at and forlorn.

I live a conspiracy, leaping great leaps through forrest and river, from sea-scape to plains. The pain in my heart ceases to cease, so I reach up above, gritting my teeth, to grasp the next rung of that ladder I am forced to climb. I feel I am running, running from my life and my friends. I see horrors on their faces when they see that I am here. That I’m alive and speaking. They quiet me, and look to the leader of their raptor-like group. She nods her beautifully ugly head, and smiles demonicly.

She knows. She always knows. She knows that I hate her. I despise her. But she does not care. She knows what I am about to say against her, and I know what she will say back to me. What she will do to me. She will push me back to the back of her mind again, not letting me free until she dies. But I want out. I want to do all the things that she wants to do but can’t. I want to control myself.

But she won’t let me. Let me spread my wings and fly from her mind. Our mind.

We are one being, but the one we love only knows her. Only one half of a person. The stupid, trembling half, at that. Yes, she is a coward. She does not have the courage to let me out and tame me. She only hides me in her cavernous, misused skull, dreading the day when I break through her defenses and push her broken spirit into the prison she had kept me in for years. Yet she does nothing to quench her fear. She is a coward.