you can make me
and shape me
fix me
and take me
use me
break me
you own me
im your property
obey commands
and endless desires
after all, im only made up
of a bunch of wires
emotions of a rock
heart of stone
built for you
and what you wish me to do
you turn me on and off
you input your demand
i then respond
as fast as my CPU* can
im running low on battery
please plug me in
need to have energy
running within
———————————————————
*= central procesing unit.

We’re not fragile like the broken wine glass shattered on the kitcken floor

waiting to be swept up by the dust pan.

We’re hearty like one of those plastic cups

that’s been through many cycle in the dish washer covered

with teeth marks from the kids.

excuse me for a moment while I slip

into the bathroom floor to spill my guts along the floor.

once again I’m falling back into that nervous habit of mine;

shaky nerves can’t take this anymore.

Mighty creature of the deep,
Something I wish that I could keep.
Always been jealous of the quirky power,
Leaving its mark with an inky shower.
I have one question, however, that I must beg:
Are those things arms, or is it a leg?

The air reeked of foul smells and of all things it was the numbing stench of petroleum.

“We must be near, commander,” said I.

Ray broke his brisk pace and I nearly ran into him, almost running him over. I stood at his attention while he took out a fine cigarette. Cigarettes were hard to find and even harder to afford these days. In a flash, a match appeared in his hands, which he whipped against his coarse skin to start a small flame. I don’t think he washed for quite a long time.

He eyed me for a long time with his curiously sharp green eyes, slowly drawing out the last few seconds of luxury from the burning cinder stick. A cold front blew into the crevice, leaving me wondering when I will be numb enough to stop feeling my hands and legs. The fact that it rained heavily two days before did not help a bit.

For a commander, Ray Oliver was rather young and… informal. His stout shoulders were laid back against the cold clammy wall and his spine shifted as if to find the best position to take comfort in. His steel-rimmed boots were neatly crossed at the ankles (he usually has just one foot flat and the other on the ball of its foot). His cap was rather slanted, revealing some of his sandy blonde hair.

It took him an hour, the damn full sixty minutes, to say something.

“Hey! You there, what was your name? Oh yes, Sebastian was it? Yes. Just sit down here. You’ll get yourself a cold.”

He’s such a mother, isn’t he?

“Yes, Commander Oliver.”

“The sky looks like its going to weep again, eh?”

“Yes, Commander Oliver.”

“Shall we continue, Sea-bass?”

“Yes sir.”

“And I presume you already know that the territory is restricted Area 45?”

“Yes sir.”

The walls of the factory felt clammy cold and the moisture left a velvety texture on everything. Everything stank and I realized it was not the petroleum. In fact there weren’t any traces of petroleum at all. The warehouse was full of tanks with oozing purple slime. I figured it was the bacteria the government has deployed to make this place a bit more…safer, for us at least. This place was a grave for anyone who ventured into its perimeters. Still, it didn’t hurt to double check the gas mask…

We have reached the end of corridor 1169-42I, the place where we were assigned to search and recover.

The Stench grew stronger as we trudged through the hall. The walls were smeared with blood and splattered with tiny pieces of flesh. Apparently, some “experiments” have gotten out.

Oliver quickly sensed my tension.

“I’ll go first, Seabass.”

“Wait! Shouldn’t I provide recon-“

“No! If anything happens…just run. Okay?”

“No! But-”

“That’s an order from me, Private!”

Then he went, skimming through the rest of the hallway. Then he disappeared through the door.

My eyelids fell silently, my hands tightly grasped my automatic, and my lungs filled with the rancid air.

My earpiece clicked.

“Don’t come in.” Rather raspy for Oliver.

“No, I’ll provide rec-”

“Don’t enter this room! No! NOO! AGG-”

Static.

“Oliver, over. Oliver, over! Blast it! This is some sick joke!”

My legs broke through the hallway, feeling the bones of scientists crunch underneath me.

Unconsciously, my hand groped for the Silencer.

The knob left a trace of warmth. I’ll make him pay for freaking me out.

There was something peculiar on the floor.

It kind of looked like a green marble of some sort.

Then my eyes traced the faint red line attached to it.

My heart jumped thrice.

Oliver’s on the ground, both eyes gouged out, his torso torn to pieces.

I sensed a presence.

“I told you not to come into this room.”

Turned.

Squeezed

point blank

I am not my scars.
I know you see my pains reflection through the windows of my eyes.
Every let down, misconception, every hurt, and every lie.
I try to cover up, yet my nakedness still shows,
You see me, in my truest form, I am vulnerable and exposed.
Sometimes the phantom of my past appears, though I try to forget
Even when I hide it in the darkness, I still see its silhouette.
So why do I regret…? These events are the fabric of who I’ve come to be
Every instance like a fiber woven in my life’s tapestry.
I can only look back for wisdom, I must let this be my strength.
But even I have yet to discover the true extent of its length.
I have only gone so deep, on the surface it hurts so much
When I feel my ugliness visible, I just want to cover up.
But these memories, the pain from my past, and what I see…
This is only an illusion, not the definition of me.
I am not my downfalls, and I am not my mistakes,
Yet when they look at me, this is all they seem to take.
But look at ME, look into my soul…
Look at who I really am, not the scars that clearly show.
I have to remind myself who I am every day,
Because everyone and everything tries to lead my mind astray.
They want me to believe I am who they see me to be…
They try to show me what I’ve overcome as if it’s still me.
Will I live up to be the conceptions as they have made
Or will I make my own path, let the past lie where it may
See, I am not my scars, my scars are just the proof
That I have healed from my afflictions, and I have made it through.

there’s no place like a home

where you can sleep good at night

where somebody wants you

someone who will hold you tight

there’s nothing like the aroma

of a kitchen being used

something sweet ot the taste

that cannot be refused

you can’t beat the sound

of giggles and laughter

you hear them time and time again

today and every day after

nothing tops the smiles

that fade away the tears

or knowing this is where you’ll spend

the next however many years

there’s no place like a home

where you can feel safe day in and day out

despite the fights

that are sometimes aroused

nothing can overtake the love

between the people within its doors

where you never get cold

because it’s filled with such warmth

it doesn’t matter where you’ve been

or where you try to go

because no matter what

this house is still your home

you can go back to it

over and over again

and the joy and peace it makes you feel

with come again and again

i’ll never forget

what it feels like to know

that there’s always somehwere

and there’s no place like home

Why do I act these ways

Why can’t i be like you

Because maybe if i was

You would love me more than you do

I try so hard to show you

I’m not crazy in my head

But it seems each time i try

I get shot down, I’m dry and dead

So I’ll say it to you once again

And hope you’ll understand

That I loved the mother i used to have

But you I just can’t stand

In this world we live in

We do whatever we like

We lose someone we love

And feel like going crazy inside

When we act on those feelings

We dig ourselves a hole

We push our friends away

As if to say I’m torn

The true friends will stay

But the others will go

Because of all the things we said

And the deception that was shown

We have our own will power

But will we do what’s right

Today could be our last day

And we only have one chance at life

Who is this stranger in the mirror

Staring back at me

I have no clue how she got in here

Or who she could be

Though I’ve seen her many times in the past

It’s all still so unclear

Her presence seems to fade away fast

Each time that she appears

But when she’s here in front of me

I feel so good inside

Although I still wondersho she is

And why sometimes she hides

I wonder how she gets in here

Without ever being seen

There doesn’t seem to be much she fears

At least that’s how it seems

I’ve only heard her speak once or twice

In a manner that’s so mature

She’s someone I’ve grown to like

If only I really knew her

If only I could understand

Why she’s only in my reflection

If only I could understand

Why the mirrors are her protection

Maybe it’s because I’m  the only one she trusts

To cover her up when she needs to be hid

But why is it me that she trusts

When I’m still just a kid

As I think of thsi girl in front of my eyes

Staring desperately back at me

I come to know and realize

That this girl I don’t know is me